Crawling Through Snow by Caleb Govert

Snow

I can feel the snow pouncing on my face
Attacking me
Walking across the bridge
In the forest
The wood is rotten
No, it’s not
It’s just sad
I reach the end of the bridge
I turn back around
Snow still falls
It’s hard to breathe
Gasping for air
Breathe
In and out
In and out
The snow keeps attacking me
I scream
Running
Running
Running
Inside
No more snow
Back in the room
Back where I’m safe
I’ll try to leave again tomorrow
Tomorrow comes
I don’t want to leave
The room is safe
But it’s sunny outside
So I should be fine
Outside
Walking
Walking
The path splits
Two paths
I can feel the snow on my face again
I can’t breathe again
I scream
Inside
No more snow
Back in the room
Back where I’m safe
I’ll try to leave again tomorrow






Ramblings

If there is one thing I hate, it’s snow
I’m surrounded by it
Things I hate about snow
It's cold
It's wet
It's hard to drive on
And it makes me mad
I hate that it makes me mad
Everything seems to serve no purpose
Except to infuriate ME in particular
No one else seems to mind the trivial
Maybe it’s not snow I hate,
But something more like
memories associated?
Hmmm
Hard to tell
It's not snow
It's change.
I hate change.
(Snow is indicative of change)
Snow means a change in season
Snow means a change in temperature
Snow means a change in scenery
I didn’t always live in the small town covered in snow
My old city never snowed
I liked the old city
Actually,
I don't hate change
It's the change I can't control that I hate
I couldn’t control me leaving






To Be Honest

Usually, when I write I try to avoid getting too personal
(At least I avoid personal without being vague)
I’ll write metaphors
Wouldn’t want others to know my thoughts, feelings, opinions, etc.
Maybe that’s my problem
So fine, I’ll get personal
Sometimes it's the simple things that hurt the most
People tend not to understand that
But it's the little everyday things that make it hard
I miss the people I’ve lost
Friends who are gone
Family who are gone
I miss them all






Ha Ha

I miss the people who are the worst to me
For a long time
I thought of them all as parasites
Attached to me, sucking my blood, depending on me for their survival
But actually
If anything
I’m the parasite






Struggling for Air

Sometimes when I’m floating
I feel as if the wind pushes me away
Not the water but the wind
I always thought if I died while floating
It would be because I drowned in the water
I had always been told it’s like gasping for air
But I’m no longer afraid of the water
I’m afraid of the air
Even with my head above the surface
I still can't breathe
I still gasp for air
It seems like no matter what I try
It's the wind that keeps pushing me away
Sometimes it seems easier
To just dive underneath the water






Snowman

Everywhere I go they stare at me
The snowmen
They’re always smiling
They seem nice
When I drive, the snowmen watch
When I walk, the snowmen watch
When I bike, the snowmen watch
I wonder if the snowmen talk to each other
If they have a little network of secrets they share
I probably think about the snowmen too much
One day, I decided to talk to a snowman
I walked to the nicest-looking one
and said hello
He said hi back
The snowman and I talk a lot nowadays
He’s probably my best friend
He’s the best part of this Winterland
What I forgot about snowmen though,
No matter how good of a snowman he is
How good of a friend he is,
He still melts away






Just another fact about snowmen

I’m leaving the Winterland
I have to go off to college, I guess
Moving off to Utah
I decided I was going to minor in theater
Fun
Something I forgot to mention about Snowmen
Is they hate to see you succeed
Snowmen are pretty to your face
But they always converse
Always
Sometimes it’s not to the other Snowmen
But the Snowmen on their phone
They love to entertain each other with little stories
Especially when they can hide while doing so
There are, in truth
A few good things
Among these few things is opportunity
But is opportunity worth sacrificing happiness?






Crawling through snow

I like to look at the sun
It helps clear my mind
When you’re in pain you’re mind tends to focus on the pain
So looking at the sun
Makes thoughts slow down
But you can’t stare too long
Because then you’ll miss the beauty of everything else
Something interesting about snow:
It reflects the sun
Makes it hard to go outside
Considering how much I love the sun,
It’s weird how much I hate the snow
The snow’s all in my head anyway
I bury myself deep in it
Until I have to crawl