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Are Grocery stores too complicated?

Joshua Crowley
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Marisa Lopez

The following piece is a satirical news article—a style of fiction that pretends to report the news in an attempt to criticize something in real life.


Grocery stores are an integral part of life. After all, we need food to live. But things have gotten out of hand. In a recent turn of events, protesters have started to form outside major grocery chains. They are part of the movement to simplify grocery stores. Many protesters claim that chains such as Walmart, Target, and even mom-and-pop stores have reached labyrinthian levels of confusion.


The movement started after a viral Tik Tok emerged from a customer’s frustrating experience trying to find parmesan cheese at his local grocery store. “I was in a hurry trying to prepare a last-minute dinner,” claims influencer Danny D. Veto. “I needed some parmesan cheese to finish off my chicken parmesan, but the layout of the store confused me. I couldn’t find it and finally gave up and asked an employee,” Veto said. “The parmesan was in the dairy section, but how was I supposed to know that? It wasn’t on the sign.” 


The video went viral and quickly started a global movement with grocery shoppers everywhere, causing many to protest outside their local establishments. Other customers, such as Betty Misslekin of Miami Florida, have pointed out the issues with self-checkout and made the comment, “I couldn’t see the button to pay. They should have made it bigger and brighter.” 


Walmart has refused to give a statement on the pressing issue, but Target has already issued a press release that promised a new initiative to clean up their stores and organize things much more efficiently for the less sensible customers. The movement for organized grocery stores has an official layout widely accepted by the people which dedicates an aisle for every item so as to not overcomplicate anything.

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