Looking around the room

smiles and laughter fill the air. 

My brain is swirling and spinning and I think,

“How is everyone so happy?” 

My cousins play tag, 

my mom talks to my aunts and uncles, 

and my grandma is getting drunk.

My pappa is sitting with me, just as confused. 

My dad is in an open casket; 

no one has even acknowledged his existence.

This will be the last time I see my father’s lifeless body

unconscious, dead, pale, and weak. 

My head hurts, and my eyes are puffy from all the crying. 

My pappa comes with me to talk to my father once again. 

It looks like he is sleeping. 

He’s in a better place now. 

I listen to my pappa talk to my dad

as if he were still here, just sleeping. 

I am crying, hoping that he will awaken from the dead, 

hoping he is pretending and faking it all. 

But no. 

I say goodbye to him and feel sick.

We walk away from my father. 

This will be the last time I see him.

It hurts to walk away from the people you love.

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