Deeper Down

 

I'm terrified

Of what consumes me

Of falling back into that feeling

The feeling I felt

A little more than a year ago now

Am I spiraling?

The scary part—

I can’t tell.

I've got too much feeling, I’m numb

So much feeling

I’m gum

Being chewed

Flavor lost

Yet rhythmically chewing

Flexing like rubber

My jaw burns, similar to my mind

Chomping, smacking, chewing

Thinking, speedily, softly brewing

Something

I hope a decision 

With the way these thoughts flow through

There's so much pressure

No one seems to be around

Slowly leaving me to drown

And I don’t escape

I let it

Is this something I might regret?

Letting myself fall deeper

Deeper

Down

 

Smells That Linger

 

I hate hallways

Walking down a long shaggy, crusty carpet

Stale air suffocating my racing thoughts

The smells unforgettable

Not always bad

Not always good

The sour smell of someone eating lunch in room 12

The encapsulating aroma of candles and body sprays in room 1

The chemical smell of acrylic in room 7

I smell the tears and hear the delicate cries in room 3

I smell the anger in room 2

The fumes enraging through my body, and burning my nose

An argument arises

I pass quickly

Behind every door is somewhere I've been

At one place in time

The end of the hall seems closer now

I stare, it glares back

Nervous about what my door may bring

Scared of what it will take me away from

Defeated, I step away

Smells linger 

They attack what has fought to stay alive

I let them

I was never ready to leave this hallway anyway