"Eye for Perfection" Marisa Lopez

Dear Parents 

You were young
You were allowed a life, too
You weren’t going to let kids get in the way 

You were the parents and we were the kids 

Tantrums weren’t my thing then,

But now I wish I could kick and scream

And throw myself onto the floor 

Explain how unfair it all was
Explain to you how unfair it was 

The effects I will always feel 

Because you claim “everyone messes up with their first kid” 

Because you just assumed I was self-sufficient enough 

Now you claim to be washing your hands after my childhood 

I’m still a child
And your hands never got dirty 

Compliance 

To say no
and the world didn’t end like I thought it would 

the air
it’s pulled from my lungs
but I didn’t die, I didn’t budge 

for once, standing up
for what I truly wanted
didn’t bring everything crumbling down 

I didn’t have to drown in my compliance, 

I learned my preferences mattered 

I learned to stop putting everyone and all of their feelings above mine 

standing my ground
still feels like pulling teeth

still takes the breath
from my lungs 

but I know
how important it is to know my worth 

I know my worth 

the consequences of biting my tongue
have been much worse than letting my needs be known 

Speak up when displeased
Be disagreeable 

I don’t have to shove my feelings away
To be a good student, child, friend
I can be those things without always putting others before myself