My parking brakes crunch obnoxiously as I stop my car in my driveway after school. It’s time for my daily “car rot,” the one time during the day when I get to be completely alone. I feel safe in my car, with its loud music and complete absence of other people. It’s the only space I have entirely to myself. This is the only time that I have to turn off my brain, a small pause between the strain of a day full of lectures and assignments and a night packed with rehearsals and practices. 

 

I look up and see Rizzo, my three-year-old grey tabby cat, staring at me through the window. She has likely been positioned at the glass since she heard my old Subaru make its entrance into the driveway. Her presence pulls me back to reality, beckoning me to enter the house and quit wasting my time. When I catch her watching me, I feel a weird sort of embarrassment. Here I am, a 17-year-old girl, melting into nothingness in the driver’s seat of my car, ashamed to have been caught by a feline. This is time I’ll never get back, time I should spend doing homework, baking cookies, or playing with my precious cats, which would undoubtedly be Rizzo’s pick.

 

Reluctantly, I shut off my car, grab my bags, and enter the chilly fall air. Leaving my warm car is the last thing my tired mind wants to do, but I also know that the less productive I am, the worse I’ll feel in the end. Racing the bone-chilling cold of the mid-autumn breeze, I approach my back door and type in the code that unlocks our deadbolt. Upon entering my cozy home, I am greeted by Rizzo weaving around my legs, welcoming me with her usual trip-hazard gestures. 

 

My hands full, I ignore her and instead hang up my keys. I routinely toss my bags into my room, hang up my coat on the rack behind the door, then return to the kitchen to unpack my lunch box. All the while, Rizzo is on my tail, begging me for attention with small meows filled with excitement at my return. Her obvious enthusiasm makes me sad. I know that I am all she has, yet she does not typically rank high among my priorities.

 

I hear your car pull into the driveway. You’re three minutes earlier than you were yesterday. I am so excited to hear all about your day. Mine has been the same as usual. Oh! This morning, our water fountain ran dry, and I had to drink out of the toilet all day. It feels like an entire lifetime since you left this morning. Oh, how I wish you didn’t have to be gone all day.

 

I am watching you as you sit in your car, scrolling through your phone. I’m pressed against the window, showing off my sun-warmed fur. Notice me! Oh, good, you see me now. You grab your backpack and lock your doors. Quick! I rush to meet you. I skid across the slick kitchen tile and rush down the stairs, slamming on the brakes as I reach the split-level landing, trying my hardest not to run headfirst into our door. I hear the mechanical deadbolt grind and the door swings open, so I’m forced to retreat a little bit further down the stairs.

 

You walk in. There you are! Your hands are full, but I welcome you with a greeting of my own, showing my affection to your feet and ankles. “Rizzo!” you shout. Oh no, I didn’t mean to upset you. I only wanted to remind you that I’ve been here, eagerly waiting for you. You exhale and begin up the stairs, leaving me to trail behind. It’s okay, I’ll wait until you set down your things.

 

After discarding my backpack, water bottle, and lunch box, I return to the kitchen to grab a quick bite before I’m off once again, returning to the school for another practice or rehearsal. Opening the pantry, I nearly take Rizzo’s head off. Get out of the way, I think. The silly thing will never understand the simple science of hinges.

 

I reach for a protein bar and then perch on the stairs overlooking the main floor of my house. This is one of my favorite places to unwind, and where I often eat breakfast or have a quick snack after school, and easily get lost on Instagram or the like. Almost immediately, I feel a fuzzy presence to my left, and there’s Rizzo practically applying herself to me. She climbs on top of my legs, making sure to get her tail all up in my face.

 

“Hi,” I offer to her, as I pluck a stray fur from my chapsticked lips and return to the familiar allure of social media. Checking my watch, I realize that it’s time for me to get going once again. My homework will have to wait until later tonight. It can accompany the dinner that I’ll undoubtedly be reheating. I chew the last bite of my protein bar and then stand to throw away the wrapper, evicting my cat from my lap in the process.

 

I watch as you take your regular trip to the pantry, then sit down in our favorite spot. I bound up the kitchen stairs to meet you. You finally have time for me! You’ve been so busy and distant lately. I hope that I can remind you to be present. I nudge your arm and start my ascent into your lap. All I want is your love.

 

Oh no, there you go again, scrolling on that phone of yours. You aren’t very good at multitasking. I can’t compete with the glowing screen. Please, just notice me today. It’s okay if you don’t tomorrow, but it’s been a while now. You are so stressed, maybe you just need to take a second and cuddle. I’ll make sure nothing bad happens to you. You can talk to me about anything, and I wish I could tell you that.

 

Suddenly, you thrust me from my cozy position. Wait! Where are you going? We just got comfy! Are those your keys I hear jangling as you walk across the kitchen? Why are you leaving again? You walked in the door only ten minutes ago. I hear your labored sigh as you reach for the door handle. If only you could catch a break, I don’t understand what’s forcing all of you humans to be rushed around all of the time. Oh well, I’ll see you later tonight. Hopefully, then you’ll be ready to take a break for me.